Roast Chicken

Roast Chicken is becoming one of my favorite recipes. Which in turn means my husband is getting tired of it. But I'm cooking so I'm making roast chicken! I like it because you can make it a variety of ways - "garlic and onion" or "citrus" or "parsley and lemon" or tonight's "rosemary and sage." It's the same basic recipe: Butter, salt and pepper, whatever flavoring you decided on, and then stick all the leftovers inside the cavity. Bake at 350 for 20 mins per pound. I usually just get a 4 lb. chicken so it's just an hour.



I am trying to time this right. I just got back from the park around 4:30 and "rested" for about an hour. (Rest means Internet surfing while I nurse Gabi.) Shane said he'd be home at 6:30 so now that it's almost 5:30 I am feeling hurried. Normally it wouldn't matter but we are going to try to go to Lowes after dinner so I don't want to have to wait around.



I should have at least 10 minutes while the oven is preheating, so I figure I should have the chicken prepped by then. I start chopping the rosemary. Or rather, attempting to chop it. I have very dull knives. Just as I'm cursing my knife, I remember Shane bought me an electric knife sharpener for Christmas! Isn't he sweet? He told me, "I was tired of hearing you complain about your dull knives every night!" Ah, le amore.



So, I get the item out of the box and plug it in, but I don't see any instructions. I wonder, "Is it so easy it doesn't need instructions?" I look at the item. There are four slots. There is a picture on the back of the box that says "Two-stage sharpening system" and shows the knife going through two slots. Since there are four slots, I assume that is for sharpening two knives. I guide my knife through the first slot, then the second. It sounds like a chainsaw. I hope I don't wake up Gabi. I go back to my rosemary, and it does seem to chop a lot easier. Hooray!



I push the chopped rosemary to a corner of the (plastic) cutting board and get out my chicken. I forget I need to rinse it so I put the package on the cutting board. Olivia comes into the kitchen.

"Can I have some apple juish?" she asks, as she opens the fridge.

I tell her she needs to pronounce it "juice" or else she can't have any. After struggling to cut the plastic off the chicken, liquid goes everywhere. Luckily, the rosemary is still in tact. I swing the chicken to the sink to rinse it off, leaving a trail of liquid across the kitchen.

"What is that? That looks yuck!" Olivia says as she's watching me.

"It's chicken," I respond.

She tells me she doesn't like chicken and runs away. I rinse the chicken, put it in the roasting pan and clean up.

I'm finally ready to start prepping the chicken as the oven dings, telling me it's preheated. I grab a glob of softened butter with one hand, simultaneously drying the chicken with a paper towel with the other hand. (I have learned that buttering a wet chicken does not work.) I smother the chicken with butter and then with the rosemary. I want to add salt, pepper, and dry sage but I need clean hands to touch the containers. I go the sink to wash but the water is cold and instead of rinsing off the butter, I am coating my hands with butter and herbs. I wonder if this is moisturizing or wrinkle reducing. I'll have to look later. I am able to pump some soap before it slips away from me and now I have soapy buttery hands. This is getting annoying. Hot water works to wash or melt off the butter. Success! I happily apply the rest of the ingredients and stick it in the oven.

While it cooks I make some mashed potatoes and microwave some broccoli and cheese. As I get out the pot for the potatoes, I find the instructions to the electric sharpener. (No idea how it got in there, but whatever.) It turns out, stage one uses the first two slots and stage two uses the last two slots. Not bad, I just missed the "fine-honing." Then I read, "Before using knife to slice food, always wipe with a damp cloth to remove any metal filings that may remain from the sharpening process." Oops. I have a vision of my family choking on metal shards, but in reality it should be okay.

Shane gets home right at 6:30 but another thirty minutes is needed to finish roasting. He's too tired to go to Lowes now anyway. The chicken turned out great (according to me) and there were no trips the hospital for metal poisoning. Olivia did not eat any chicken. Oh well, I'm sure we'll have it again next week, so she can try it then.